Bats In My Belfry

Been playing Age of Conan since about a week after its release. As a newly released MMO it is not without issues. Some of the issues are pretty severe for those who are suffering them (game crashes, lag etc.) so there are legitimately frustrated people. There is, as well, the usual group of trolls who spend a great deal of time on the AoC boards crying, hollering, threatening etc. This is bog standard for MMO forums and not really to be taken seriously. Can be entertaining though.

I write here today because I need to get something off my chest that I cannot do on the Funcom AoC forums.

Forum moderation.

Now, when a group of gamers gets together there can be friction under the best of circumstances, no doubt. And moderation is essential. In fact I am critical of most game forums because I don’t feel there is ENOUGH moderation but the FC AOC forums? Plenty of moderation. Problem is, it’s wonky as hell.

It is capricious, it often makes no sense. For example a thread titled “Failcom Blows Goats” will remain in place and the inevitable fanboi vs. hater flame-a-thon ensues. But a thread that questions why there is a delay in receiving responses on legit questions or requesting information on account issues or wanting to know what the upcoming patch notes consist of gets nuked instantly (or nearly).

Also, there is a tendency to “prune” threads of “troll posts” which unfortunately often results in a thread that no longer makes much sense. In fact, I would say that all too often the pruning is too “deep” and leaves a thread which newcomers (e.g. folks that haven’t been following the thread since its inception) would find nearly incomprehensible.

I am ALL for attempting to keep boards civil. Very much so but I think that Funcom (at least the EU side) is doing a rather wobbly job of it. There is one moderator who is rather overzealous and responsible for the majority of questionable calls. I keep hoping that with more experience this moderator will start to learn the fine art of when to let something slide, when to just edit a singular post, when to prune several/many and when to shut down a thread.

As it stands now, Funcom is alienating even more people with these overzealous, sometimes incomprehensible moderation tactics and it’s not helping matters given the angst and ire that is swirling around the game itself.

There. I feel better now.

EDIT: I want to make clear that this rant is aimed at the volunteer moderators, not the 2Pi people. In fact, I am thrilled to see 2Pi coming on board. They have a deft, professional touch that is sorely needed. I do hope, as time passes and things settle a bit, I have to eat my words.

Errand day today so not much knitting accomplished (or anything else, yet, anyway). Hit the grocery, apothecary, what passes for a drugstore here (Muellers) and the Bahnhof (for cigs). Turned out to be a reasonable afternoon to be out after a wet, windy & cold morning.

Found something at the apothecary that might help with the Harmony sock needles. It’s Compeed’s Anti-Blister Stick meant to reduce friction thus preventing blisters. I know these needles are going to rub a hole in my palm. They just hit my right hand every stitch. So I picked up a stick of it. Looks like a mini-deodorant stick. Smells nice! Tried it out for a bit and it does seem to be helping but didn’t get to work all that long yet to be sure. Be nice if it did but if it doesn’t I’ll try to find some moleskin or just use a band-aid.

Had a rough time walking The Dawg this evening. We’re coming up on Fasching here in Germany which is a pre-Lenten celebration akin to Mardi Gras but lasting quite a bit longer than one day. All sorts of parades and events usually to do with scaring the crap out of witches (portrayed by folks wearing gunny-sack brown pant suits with witch masks and what appears to be gourds as their waists…don’t ask me, I don’t get it). Since fireworks apparently are only tolerated at New Year festivities, they rely on what we call “bull whips”, cracked LOUDLY and often. Haven’t seen it but I’m told there is a parade devoted to these whip crackers. So, folks start practising right around the first of the year…standing outside (fair enough, wouldn’t be very wise to practise indoors) cracking these whips. It makes a very loud, distinctive sound, something like a rifle shot. In fact, that’s what I thought it was the first time I heard it. There are smaller versions for the kids to practise with and I’d say those are about five feet long. The adult versions are longer, not sure by how much, at least a foot or two. They take some pretty serious strength to get cracking. It’s a skill.

Okay, so that all said…took The Dawg out just at sunset for his evening walk. Now The Dawg is no fan of noises like fireworks and he is no fan of these whips either. We turned out of our alley and onto the street and down by the last intersection before the fields were some kids about half of which were quite young, six-ish, and three boys that I would say were around ten. They were practising with their whips. The Dawg got nervous but he was doing okay walking along. Two of the whip-cracking boys headed out of the middle of the street leaving one who was cracking away. When I got within about ten feet, I called out: “Halt ein moment, bitte” (Stop for a moment, please). The Dawg was wary but he was trusting me that it was okay and we proceeded. Just after we got past the boy, he hauled off and cracked the whip a good one. The Dawg panicked. I mean total, full blown panic and dived through a hedge, taking most of me with him. As I was trying to get ‘hold of the dog through the hedge (I didn’t fit), he cracked it twice more (not helpful). A lady who was passing by said something, loudly and abruptly, to the boy and he laughed. I got The Dawg back on my side of the hedge and was trying to get him to move away from the kid. Kid cracked the whip again and The Dawg took off. I knew he was strong but never felt just how strong ’til this evening. It took every bit of my strength to hang onto him.

I got him turned down a sidestreet (hell with trying to get to the fields) and headed back toward home. Poor dog crawled under a parked truck (had to get him out of there), puked twice, peed a couple times, pooped and was shaking like a leaf. I managed to get him home a round-about way and when he realised he was near home he took off at full speed. I had to run or fall on my face.

I was angry. Very, very angry at this kid. It amazes me that people can be so inconsiderate and to laugh at a scared creature. It took about an hour for The Dawg to calm down. Poor thing was completely freaked out. Worse than with the fireworks and that was bad enough. I have no idea why he is so scared of noises like that but he absolutely is. So, it’s going to be rough couple of weeks whilst the neighbourhood is filled with whip practising people. I suppose we’ll have to adjust the walking schedule to times when they won’t be outside practising. Lovely.

I got my Adriafil “Swing” today from Angel Yarns in the U.K. It’s mercerised cotton. I got some blue variegated which’ll become gift towel/dishcloths.

Getting kind of cranky with Angel Yarns again. I ordered a Jordana Paige bag just before Christmas. Wrote ‘em an email on the 11th of January when I hadn’t yet received it. No reply. Tried to use their “contact us” form on their Web site and the form is broken. It gives you an anti-spam code to enter and even after entering it, it complains that you haven’t entered it. Grrrr. So, just sent ‘em another email with return receipt requested and read receipt requested. I cannot call them as I cannot hear very well. This fails, I guess I’ll have to go on their forums and complain. I’d really like to get that bag. Been over a month now with no clue as to when to expect to receive it. I so wish they’d get these issues sorted out.

Still pretty green for winter. I like that about this area.

Also working on a very heavy duty Old Shale made with Wendy Aran. So far, so good…

Oh well, back to…the sock…

Going to have a bit of a rant today. But first, many, many, many thanks to Himself (my husband) who kindly migrated my blog to my domain and without much whinging at all even when I was most unhelpful due to ignorance. He was heroic and didn’t even argue with me when I made noises about not wanting to deal with all the intricacies, even though I might’ve said something along the lines of “Can you make Chateaubriand?” at one point. It was around the time when I was moaning about not liking any of the available templates and why wasn’t the one I used over on my old blog available and waaaah, waaaah, waaah. Then I about killed him with wanting my Flickr feed and then I was whinging about order of stuff on the sidebar. It’s a wonder he didn’t tell me to figure it out myself.

Seriously, he did a wonderful job and I am truly grateful. Now turn off the damn lights!

And now…I shall rant.

Was reading over on Ravelry’s forums and there was quite an active thread about “yarn snobbery”. This is a real hot button for me. Pretty much any snobbery, elitism, etc. gets me going. I’ve been on the receiving end of the attitude that barks “why bother if you’re not going to use ‘good’ yarn?”. Why? Because I can. Because there are times when an acrylic is just the right thing. Case in point, afghans for around here. No way in hell am I going to make an afghan out of nice wool or even a blend because they are hair-balled on, spilled on, cig ends and ashes dropped on etc. Then there’s the whole price aspect. Both of us prefer a nice, big afghan (none of this “lap-robe” business for us) and one that is fairly dense in fabric. Now I’ll grant you wool or a nice wool blend would increase the warm/dense factor but we’re not made of money(I about freaked when I saw a gorgeous, luscious, gimmegimmegimme afghan made out of Kureyon. I mean holy shit! I wish I had that kind of money.) Himself likes an afghan that’s about 6.5′x 5′. Do the math. This is even more a consideration in that I generally crochet afghans rather than knit (the idea being to get the thing done before I’m too senile to enjoy it) with the exception of baby afghans. Those I knit. Of course that means more yarn gets used.

So I’ll say it straight up, I miss being able to go into a Michael’s, KMart or the like and grab a cartload of acrylic and churn out an afghan. Sue me. I am especially cranky about the lack of “decent” (for the purpose) acrylic here in Germany. I’ve had little luck finding much that would correspond with, say Red Heart or Caron offerings in any quantity. I generally find it in grocery stores once or twice a year and then in quantities that do not lend themselves to crochet afghanage (it is too a word!). Only source I’ve found is mail order and I’m still not happy with it as it’s not worsted weight. It’s a bit less bulky than I liked for my default afghanage. The 2 LYSes around here don’t deal in acrylic much (maybe the odd bit here and there but always in 50g amounts for about $4.00 per). They tend toward the stuff that makes me want to sell Himself and anything else salable to buy mass quantities. Too…my “style” is so…utilitarian that it just doesn’t make sense to use much of what is on offer at the LYSes. Plus, at least in this part of Germany, apparently only two things get knit…socks and baby items. Good luck finding anything above 2 on the Standard Yarn Weight system. Occasionally a 3 but that’s generally…acrylic or “fun” yarn.

Sure, I’d love to be able to use any of the wicked nice yarns out there for huge projects but it’s just not going to happen. Too, I make bankies for the critters at the local Tierheim (animal shelter). They are a no-kill shelter and generally have about 90 critters that could use bankies. Uh huh. I’m gonna be using wool/wool-blends for that. Riiiight. Never mind care issues. They need to be able to wash these bankies at high temps and cram them into a dryer.

Another argument I see against acrylics…the environment. Give me a bleedin’ break. Usually this is said by someone with a HUGE SUV parked out front and someone who wouldn’t dream of re-using a water bottle and always has a fresh one to hand and has a designer leather handbag. That sort. Seriously, that’s the sort I’ve always run afoul of when being snobbed at. It would be funny if it weren’t so annoying. We buy one tank of gas every 2 to 2.5 MONTHS. We recycle (okay, we’re forced to so I can’t really take the high road here) and try to not munge up the environment whenever it’s feasible.  I pick up trash as I see it on my daily walks and bring it home to recycle. So, I think I can be excused for using acrylic occasionally. Hell, if we’re going to be concerned about ecology, how about all of us who use wood needles? Especially the really nice wood needles? Or those who use plastic needles/hooks? Goodness me but those plastic hooks/needles are made of…petroleum. Even those wonderful Denise Circs.

I have problems with knitting with wool as I’ve got very dry skin to begin with and wool just sucks out any moisture that might be there. Limited lotions that can be used without messing up the wool so after a long knitting session, I’m kind of crunchy-skinned. Too, a lot of folks don’t get on with wool (I’m not a fan of pure wool, too itchy). Himself refuses to consider anything that is wool and, yes, he can actually tell straight away if something is wool. Kureyon is the worst for me. Gawd, that stuff is so rough when being knit with. Now I do like a nice blend of wool and silk or soy or bamboo (I love bamboo yarns).

I guess my point is that there is a yarn for every purpose and there’s a reason for that. I wouldn’t make a sweater (shaaa, like I could anyway) out of acrylic simply because it wouldn’t be suitable for me to wear (or Himself). Hats? Oh yeah. Scarves? Yup. Afghans? You damn betcha. For gifts or special items that don’t require a lot of yarn, I love to go with really nice yarn. But there is a budget and I must knit.

So, those of you who have your snouts in the air muttering “why bother if you’re not going to use ‘good’ yarn?” mind that you don’t drown in a rain.

Well, I’ve slept on it and I’m still…irritated. The Flea Market that I have been working so hard to get stuff ready for? It’s come and gone. I’d asked Himself to find out when it was several times so I’d be sure to not miss it this year (we went through this last year and missed it then as well) and, well, he spaced it off.

Found this out last night when his mom stopped by. I was really pissed. For over a year (considering I had intended to try to sell stuff at last year’s market) I’ve been working away at things to sell so that I could try to launch a little business. Not so much the money (although that never goes amiss) but the desire to do something constructive, to contribute, to  try to launch a little business that would give me a sense of pride of work.

I was happy that I didn’t completely kill him when his mom was here. Actually I didn’t say much at all because I was afraid I would start ranting at him. Unfortunately this ties in with something else I’ve been struggling with for awhile and not in a good way. But I decided to hold on, to think about it before just letting out the emotions so that I could, hopefully, turn the situation into something positive. Not quite sure how to handle this because I am disappointed and angry.

I guess I’ll wait a bit longer ’til I am positive I won’t just start caterwauling and try to convey to him how important this was, the reasons and why his tendency to procrastinate sometimes has a bigger effect than I think he understands. I have long been troubled by what I perceive to be a matter of his putting things off unless it’s important to him. Well, we all do that to a certain extent, indeed. I think my biggest problem with it is that given the circumstances there are many time (grrr) when I cannot simply take care of something myself. That was a huge change that really caused problems for me. I came from a life where I could just go deal with stuff to a life where I had to, too often, depend upon someone else either to do it or to help me do it. Given my stiff-necked pride this has been very difficult for me. It was like going from being an adult back to being about 5 years old. I’ve gotten better accepting that this is the way it will be but I sure don’t like it.

So this whole Flohmarkt thing was something I was very much looking forward to as something I could do…myself, to regain a little bit of feeling like I was doing something, contributing and not just being…here.

Of course, I’m not blameless here, I know that. I could have pushed harder (not likely to help as history has shown, he gets more stubborn when pushed…I can relate) or I could’ve emailed his mom (next time, I will). I didn’t realise it was as imminent as it was or I would have. Won’t happen again next year. I’ve already decided that I’ll pack up all the stuff I had for this year and take it over to his mom’s so that next year when the time comes, it’s there.

Lessons learned, so not a complete wash but I think it’ll be a day or so yet before I can sit down with him and explain just why this was so important and also work past being upset that I even have to explain. I think that’s what is bothering me more, really. There’s a disconnect here and whilst at one level I do understand, at another I’m very hurt that Himself hasn’t been awfully supportive of the struggle I’ve been mucking through. Honestly, I think it scares him because he doesn’t know what to do or can’t “fix it”. I can understand that as well. I recall when it became obvious that I had a problem and needed help, trying to get him to read a couple passages from a Claire Weekes book so that he could get a sense of what was going on, and how to deal. He refused and if memory served said: “I don’t need to read a book.”. So I tried to explain and I don’t think it made much sense to him, probably because I didn’t explain it all too well.

The capper was, to me, when we got HRH. THEN he had plenty of time to research, haunt forums, do a lot of reading etc. into how to deal with a doggie. I resented that, still do. Setting aside hurt feelings, I can’t help but think it would be easier for HIM if he would educate himself just a little bit about what I’m dealing with. He might not be as confused about how my behaviour can be variable and why it is and that this is not something that can be eliminated without a lot of hard work on my part especially since therapy is apparently not possible here. I have to do it on my own which is scary and has been difficult, especially without support. I just think, sometimes, he doesn’t realise that this is not something I wanted to happen either. Indeed, I fought against the issues that led to it although I realise I was the one who went down the path to the spiraling negativity.

And so, today is a new day. A day to learn how to deal with the disappointment and anger about this. A day to realise that, for better or worse, this is how Himself operates and it clashes with how I do. A day to figure out how to not let that get twisted up in my thinking to make matters worse. A day to pack up the boxes of stuff for next year and know that I shan’t miss it then because now I know when it will be (2nd weeked of August). A day to not go to the store to get a lot of fava beans and a nice Chianti to serve with his liver which I’d dearly love to rip out.
I think I’ll start with a walk. Some fresh air, exercise always helps.

And then…finish up this last bit of Noro, knock out some more booties and, if my mind isn’t completely fixated on fava bean and livers, cast on for the socks.

Gastroenteritis is not fun. Nope. Not at all. Been laid low with it for about 4 days now although I’m finally feeling a lot better. Not sure where I contracted it but there you have it. Be nice to move on from a diet of pretzels and water.

Hot. Just bloody hot. Pushed 100f here yesterday and was 95f here in the office with the a/c running. I truly detest summer weather. Saps me of energy, forces me to drink tons of water with the attendent need to offload tons of water and I don’t like being sweaty. I really wonder what the hell is going on with the weather patterns. Beginning to look like a repeat of the summer of 2003. I hope this time the folks here in the EU are better prepared or more aware than they were then. Awful that over 20k people died due to the heat. A/C just isn’t something that is common here although I noticed that our little local Edekas finally have a/c. I remember all too well the first year here (2003) when it was so damn hot and there wasn’t any. It was pretty nasty. I guess in part the way the windows are configured here precludes the type window a/c I was used to in the States. The units we’ve seen (and have) are floor models which need to have an exhaust hose outside (which means the window has to be open…doh) and a bin which fills with water that has to be emptied (when it’s humid this means about every 2 hours). It isn’t up to the heat either, really. It only helps if you have it blowing directly on you at a distance of, oh, 2 feet. Leave that little area and it just can’t keep up. Might work fine in a tiny room.

We’re all concerned greatly with the events in Israel/Lebanon. Such a volitile area and tensions are very, very high. Whilst I understand that sometimes war is inevitable I deplore it. I often wonder if things might not be a bit different if the actual leaders of whatever “side” were required to actually fight. Lead their armies, get out there on the front instead of sitting safely in comfort, usually thousands of miles away from the action. I cannot help but believe that things might just be a bit different. Too, the amount of civilian casualties always infuriates me. So many, so many who have nothing to do with the conflict, who happen to be in the wrong place.

Well, I guess I come by my “geriatric hippie” name honestly.

Well the missing tea has turned up as well. It's in the clutches of German customs. Why? Because apparently the paperwork wasn't filled out properly and, near as we can tell, Customs has no idea what is in the package and what the value is.

Okay, now wait. This is the agency that utterly adores (apparently) digging through any incoming package. They love opening, rummaging, slapping huge stickers all over the package informing that, yes, they have pawed through your stuff. Okay, okay, I understand. Things are tense, terrorists might just include some sort of heinous device in and amongst tea and yarn and food stuffs from the U.K. We must all be strong and tolerate pawage.

I'm not much of one to deal with bureaucrats. Nope. I find it annoying to be on the receiving end of those who work in a job which seems, more often than not, to have a main prerequisite of strong passive-agressive tendencies (I know, it's a generalisation, deal). So when we received the cryptic notice that the package was being held pending "identification" (it's tea fer crissakes!) and, most likely, payment of more than it's worth, I was grouchy.

How hard is it to fill out the proper paperwork and send a damn package? Even I figured it out before moving here when sending various and sundries to Himself. USPS, FedEx, DHL, Airborne etc. etc. all know what they're doing. They won't LET you send an International package without the proper paperwork so it'll be interesting to see how this package was "documented". It did come via USPS so maybe someone was having an off day.

So I get over my sulks at having to waste an afternoon standing in line, dealing with bureaucrats (in German no less) and probably having to pay extra for something that should have just…arrived.

And then, I find out that they are closed. Now this irks me in general as I am a spoiled American who was used to longer hours than are deemed proper here. Stores close early, I still don't know how working folks manage to get to the market although the open hours are expanding all the way to eight p.m. Oooo. Anyway, so the notice received informed us that we had 7 days to come sort this out after which we start getting fined for, I guess, "being too damn slow". Lovely. So we decide to make a special trip to get the bloody stuff and come to find out they are closed because it seems that "national security becomes less important the closer it gets to the weekend".

Grrrrr.

So now, we have to make yet another trip to the "big city" (Friedrichshafen) next week in order to get this stuff. All the while the clock is ticking toward that "you WILL pay for delaying". I think we have 'til Tuesday, might be Monday depending upon how they count which of course remains a bit fuzzy and mysterious since there's no information we can find on just how they count. Weekends included? Not? Business days? Given a break for days they are closed?

All this for a packet of tea and an infuser. I swear I'm going to stop buying things from the States. This just isn't worth it. I went with this because it was highly recommended but if I end up having to pay for extra because they munged up the shipping that doesn't bode well for ordering from them again.

That had better be bloody effin good tea is all I can say.

No, that's too civilised. I am having a knitting meltdown. I am, apparently, unable to feckin' knit this bleedin' square in the light grey yarn.

I. Cannot. Do. It.

This is the consistent result:

See that? That…that…mess? That's the result of tearing this bloody thing apart for the fifth time. Yes, five times. A stupid square that has kicked my arse five times now. This time I managed to screw up not once but twice in the same row. I missed one of the two strands. I tried, I tried valiantly to figure out how to get it back. I TINKed. I daintily ripped the row out to find that I couldn't suss out how to get that second (missed) strand wound right (nevermind getting the stitches back on the needle, although I did have a moment where it occured to me to use a smaller bleedin' needle). Oh and then there was the "oh let's just not bother to use the second strand on the end of row kf&b increase".

I tore the whole bloody thing out, again. There it sits. Taunting me. Reminding me that just when I think I'm getting a clue that I'm not. That my inability to rip-back is hindering me greatly and that, further, I HATE THIS PROJECT.

My witch cow hates it too.

Update: After thinking maybe this whole knitting thing was going to end up like the whole "learning German" thing, I took some really deep breaths and gave it another go. I had it in the back of my mind that I was psyching myself out and that there was absolutely no reason that this square shouldn't go as the previous ones had. I knit until I got back my rhythm. I knit until that messy pile of yarn disappeared and I had to start pulling new yarn.

Final update: (e.g. I'm gonna finally shut up about this, probably) So, from the above, comes:

And yes, it is larger. Sorry about the bandwidth business but I'm celebrating. I know, I know, it doesn't look like much. I could plead that it hasn't been blocked (true) and some other stuff that might just make it sound like I had a clue but really, I'm just bloody thankful I got past whatever mental gremlins were plaguing me.

The lovely (and monstrous) Bear guards over my triumph. Two seconds later she boogied out of there at the speed of light. Was nice to be able to get a picture of her. Normally I get tortie-blurs.

As can probably be seen I still have "gauge issues".

I don't care right now. I just don't. I finished this damn thing and I learned something whilst doing it. I learned that I can be patient even when I have the overwhelming desire to set something on fire, stomp on it, then toss it in the blender and pulverise it. This, for me, is a huge discovery. I'm not sure whether it's due to something as nice as "personal growth" or whether I am this damn determined to get knitting.

Don't know. Don't care. The very fact that I kept going is a personal best.

I'm gonna go make some tea and grin a lot. And only 40 more of these things to go.